Dear Anton Ishutin,
My love for your music is like the invisible gap between my breaths.
You taught me to be at home with myself and hence, at home everywhere and anywhere I find myself in and around whoever I find myself with.
You taught me that their is life in these crazy rocks and there's life to them crazy beaches near those crazy oceans.
You taught me that the only meaning that ultimately comes back and finally make sense are those childhood dreams that were once a fantasy.
These dreams are a sweetheart, they not only come alive at night, they manifest right before my eyes.
I only needed to see it to finally believe it.
You were my guide.
You helped me see.
Those are the only thing that are real about me.
You taught me to live my individuality and respect my self - expression.
Whatever it may be.
You really taught me that I should respect myself and let go of my past, not use it as a club to beat myself with and not use it as a chain to bound myself in
You taught me that no one can really estrange me as nobody really loves me and cares for me in the same way that I love and care for myself.
You taught me that it's okay to dream big, it's okay to want that I want.
It's okay to enjoy.
Enjoy with elegance.
Dream big dreams and fantasy.
You taught me to really fulfill them as per my expectations and even beyond...
Because of you, I can live richer and fuller, do what's supposed to get done and finally live the way, God intended me to.
I love you for that!
You were the final lead I was searching for as you filled the missing gap that was needed to finally learn how to love myself.
How best to love myself.
And most importantly, that it is all possible.
It GETS DONE.
Whenever my name gets called upon in the industry with prestige and upheld, know that all along I was with you in this journey even though you were not really holding my hand.
Walking with the cold sand under my feat, I was uplifted with the example you set and my dreams you taught me were possible.
And more importantly, the hurts, the pain and the victims within me, you taught me to let go and break free from...
You taught me to acknowledge and really enjoy the victories of all my biggest battles and fights which nobody really knew anything about, viz. my fights and battles against myself fought inside the mental realms and the deepest recesses of my mind's logic, reasons and emotions, hence too hard to bring to surface and acknowledge to even myself, let alone feel the joy of overcome ...
There are no chains anymore that I wear or I would want to wear of my free will.
There are only goals and places I would want to reach, touch them with my very hands, hold them before my very own eyes...
Your music makes love to my soul.
Deeply, ever so ...